Wooo. Went to Diversity last weekend, and for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a music festival/rave here in BC. Left Thursday night to go on a pirate ship, dressed as pirates and sneak off to the festival in the wee hours of the morning. Unfortunately, the crew doing repairs on the boat were all high on acid and someone unplugged something and the other boat (where people were sleeping) started sinking. The Captain of this other boat comes by in the morning and starts screaming at everyone and gets so pissed off that his boat is taking in water, that he decides he’s not taking us to Diversity. soooo Crystel (my room mate who is organising this whole thing) arranges cars for everyone. This bus that can fit 12 shows up and takes us to the ferries (diversity is on Texada Island)

My friend bails on me as we stop at the skytrain and I run back to the bus and hop on and everyone is like ‘fuck yeah, you’re coming!’ so I sit next to this boy, and he’s quiet and I’m pretty quiet. I read my book and we talk a little bit. He says he’ll look after me (I have about $75 in my pocket and no food) and he does. He gives me his sweater when I’m cold without me asking and kicks off his shoes when I’m stumbling barefoot over sharp rocks. Something about him makes me want to be close to him. The next day, I still have his sweater (which I’ve worn religiously) and I go out into the sunshine and pass the fuck out. Oops. Hello, heat stroke. I got a fever for 16 hours. I wore Jesse’s sweater the whole time. It was such a comfort. I see him the next day and I do his tarot cards, which are…intense, to say the least. Every card is interconnected and it all says that he’ll meet someone who can help him with grief. He’ll be coming into his potential for spiritual growth. He’ll meet his equal. My hands shook as I read to him, a knot in my stomach. I left after, abruptly, too much to think about. Anyway, I ended up running off to a sailboat and traveling around the gulf islands for a few days before coming home yesterday. I left Jesse a necklace I’d worn for a year and my address. If he finds me, I might just have someone to travel with.

But sailing was good. We found this bay on Quadra island that was lined with oysters and had a freshwater river running straight to the ocean. The river was warmer than the air. And in the middle of a thunderstorm, I jumped in completely naked, laughing into the rain.

Just got back from a water ritual up north. hmm this one was for me, as the earth burial was for Zueben, Zahir, Ra’am, Crystel, Terri, and Anna. Well not me, 22 people were involved. It was beautiful. I can’t say much more than that, but damn..i feel good. This is what I wrote based on the experience

Take a moment
Take a deep breath, imagine this scene with the eye of your mind
Somewhere between here and there
Between night and day
A place that time has forgotten
I reached toward the heavens desperately
My sunburned hands grasping for the stars
A backdrop of floers, moving to the rhythm of hand drums
A myriad of voices caressing the grass and the skies
And those stars, those excellent, perfect, pinpoints of brilliant light
Beaming down onto my face
And I inhale them, swallow them, hold them inside me
A seed of gratitude, a sprout of humility, a blossom of passion
And I will lay my naked body to the earth
Hands in the dirt, planting the stardust that flows from my newfound skin
Tears of joy genuine
Heart opened
Mind at peace

So apparently Radhanath Swami was involved in the murder of Sulocana Prabhu. Hours of research is just continuing my heart break right now. You would think there could be something, some organization based on faith that would hold to its beliefs and actually, you know, remain uncorrupt… Fucking Westerners. Always the fucking westerners.